Jennifer Government PDF/EPUB Þ Kindle Edition

Jennifer Government PDF/EPUB Þ Kindle Edition

Jennifer Government ❰PDF / Epub❯ ☀ Jennifer Government Author Max Barry – Capitalsoftworks.co.uk In Max Barry's twisted hilarious and terrifying vision of the near future the world is run by giant corporations and employees take the last names of the companies they work for It's a globalised ultr In Max Barry's twisted hilarious and terrifying vision of the near future the world is run by giant corporations and employees take the last names of the companies they work for It's a globalised ultra capitalist free market paradise Hack Nike is a lowly merchandising officer who's not very good at negotiating his salary So when John Nike and John Nike executives from the promised land of Marketing offer him a contract he signs without reading it Unfortunately Hack's new contract involves shooting teenagers to build up street cred for Nike's new line of trainers Hack goes to the police—but they assume that he's asking for a subcontracting deal and lease the assassination to the experienced NRA Enter Jennifer Government a tough talking agent with a barcode tattoo under her eye and a personal problem with John Nike the boss of the other John Nike And a gun Hack is about to find out what it really means to mess with market forces.


10 thoughts on “Jennifer Government

  1. ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣ ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣ says:

    A marketopia populated by the rabid people surnamed after the companies they work for An inane world for profit Tongue in the cheek market worshipping leading to perception of capital and enterprise as the pinnacle of human achievement And don't forget your constitutional rights fraud included Add to that all the nice touches The gun of sentimental value The Nike hype The John guy assaulting a gal and all the way threatening to sue her for damages Wow Consider me a Max Barry convert“Hey don’t worry about it” Vice President John said “Career change can be very stressful I read that somewhere”cHack was a Merchandise Distribution Officer This meant when Nike made up a bunch of posters or caps or beach towels Hack had to send them to the right place Also if someone called up complaining about missing posters or caps or beach towels Hack had to take the call It wasn’t as exciting as it used to becThey were smiling at him as if he was an eual—but of course Hack was on the wrong floorcThen they stuck out their hands “I’m John Nike Guerrilla Marketing Operative New Products”“And I’m John Nike Guerrilla Marketing Vice President New Products” the other suit saidc“Hack we need someone who can make snap decisions A fast mover”“Someone who can get things done With a minimum of fucking around”“If that’s not your style well let’s forget we spoke No harm done You stick to Merchandising” Vice President John reached for the contract“I can sign it now” Hack said tightening his gripc“Yeah” Hack hoped he sounded confident He didn’t really understand marketingc“So you know what we’re going to do?”He shook his head“We’re going to shoot them” Vice President John said “We’re going to kill anyone who buys a pair”c“I remember when you could always rely on those little street kids to pop a few people for the latest Nikes” Vice President John said “Now people get mugged for Reeboks for Adidas—for generics for Christ’s sake”“The ghettos have no fashion sense any” the other John said “I swear they’ll wear anything”c“Um” Hack said He swallowed “Isn’t this kind ofillegal?”“He wants to know if it’s illegal” the other John said amused “You’re a funny guy Hack Yes it’s illegal killing people without their consent that’s very illegal”Vice President John said “But the uestion is what does it cost? Even if we get found out we burn a few million on legal fees we get fined a few million bottom line we’re still way out in front”cHack sat in traffic biting his nails This had not been a good day He was beginning to think that visiting the marketing floor for a cup of water was the worst mistake he’d ever madec“Well that’s cheaper We can make sure we don’t take out anyone with means For you know retribution And you need ten capped so there’s a bulk discount We could do this for say one fifty”cJeeps were one of the safest vehicles on the road Buy had read; safe for people in the Jeep anywaycUntil recently Buy had thought that moving to a USA country was the best move he’d ever made with the possible exception of changing his name from Jean Paulc“I know first aid” Not many people did; there was too much risk of being sued c“Nine eleven Emergency how can I help you?”“I need an ambulance uickly a girl has been shot at the Chadstone Wal Mart mall”“Certainly sir Can you tell me the girl’s name?”“Hayley Hayley something Please come straight away”“Sir I need to know if the victim is part of our register” the operator said “If she’s one of our clients we’ll be there within a few minutes Otherwise I’m happy to recommend—”“I need an ambulance” he shouted and it was only when water splashed on his hand that he realized he had started to cry “I’ll pay for it I don’t care just come”“Do you have a credit card sir?”“Yes Send someone now”“As soon as I confirm your ability to pay sir This will only take a few seconds”He looked at the faces around him “Someone help her Help her” The kid who had loaned Buy his cellular knelt down and held the jacket over the wound A girl began stroking Hayley’s hair Buy dragged his wallet out from his back pocket and retrieved his credit card Hayley’s eyes were fixed on him I promise he told her I promise “I have American Express—”“That’s fine sir Could you read your card number to me please?”“Nine seven one four oh three—”Two shots rang out from somewhere below them close The people around him shrieked and fled; only the kid stayed crouching lower“—six six—”People were screaming Something hit the ground—or one of the Mercedes?—with a deafening boom“Sir? Are you there? I didn’t catch the number sir” “Nine seven—”The kid put his hand over Buy’s “MisterI don’t think it matters”Hayley was no longer looking at him Her eyes were turned upward at the Nike Town sign at the fluorescent lights Her face was white“Oh no” Buy said “No please”“Sir?” the operator said “Can you please repeat your credit card number for me sir? Sir? Are you there? Sir? Sir?”cHack what you just saw was a press release We have no intention of hunting down the people responsible because the people responsible are us All right?c“You want to know why Americans took over the world Hack? Because they respect achievement Before this was a USA country our ideal was the working class battler for Christ’s sake If Australians ruled the world everyone would work one day a week and bitch about the pay” He shook his head “Then there’s the British who thought there was something wrong with making money No surprise they ended up kissing the colony’s ass The Japanese they think the pinnacle of achievement is a Government job The Chinese are Communist the Germans are Socialists the Russians are brokewho does that leave?”“Canada?”“America” John said “The United fucking States of America the country founded on free market capitalizm I tell you those Founding Fathers knew their shit”c“You mean the one time you did something nice for no reason the person died?”cHe reddened “Well we still need that information It may not seem important to you but this is a serious suit”She couldn’t help it she looked at his suitcIn order to pursue the perpetrators we need funding yes The Government’s budget only extends to preventing crime not punishing it For a retributive investigation we can only proceed if we can obtain fundingcHack said “See there’s this body in my kitchen—”“You’re meant to call first” the agent said “To set up an appointment We can’t drop everything just because you walk in”cHe smiled Trespass was an assault against property and therefore a crime but fraud was fine fraud was practically a constitutional right like free speechc


  2. ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) says:

    Jennifer Government maths➽ This is one of my favourite books EVER and I don't give a fishing damn if① Some people say it's overhyped and overrated② Some people say it's predictable③ Some people say it's pure badly written crap④ Some people say all the characters in the story are stupid flat and unlikeable➽ And I certainly don't give a fishing damn about the book snobs who compare this book to the supposed greatness of novels written by Huxley Orwell Stephenson and the like The reverse book snob in me happens to think all these authors are greatly overrrrrrrated I'd rather reread The Duke and I than have to go through Snow Crash or Brave New World again But hey I'm clueless enough to think Jennifer Government is one of the coolest books ever so what the shrimp do I know?➽ And the moral of this crappy non review is love this book hate this book judge this book I don't give a fishing damn It is and forever will be pure delicious awesomeness to me HaPre review nonsense· uestion Is this still one of the coolest books I've ever read?· Answer➽ Crappy non review to come In 2025 Or whenever I don't find the time to write it


  3. Mario the lone bookwolf Mario the lone bookwolf says:

    A satire about neoliberalism leads to its ultimate goal that shows the immense flaws and unlogic of this fairy tale Imagine the opposite of a state dictatorship like communism or state communism with state owned companies and directed market economy Instead companies own everything and the state belongs to them One may ask where there is a difference to our actual situation Well in this case it is official and no farce is held all few years and called a democratic election In this gritty sick world and setting many tropes and ideas to caricature privatization and globalization can be set in place Instead of hitting on Milton Friedman Friedrich von Hayek and their successors one should spread novels like that cause laughing about something has two great effects Once it doesn´t make one angry or sad and secondly it´s the only appropriate reaction to this whole mambo jumbo yada yada economic system Readers who liked the idea might like Richard Morgans' novel Market Forces which deals with a similar scenery And leftist non fiction in general


  4. Rob Rob says:

    If asked to write the foreword to some 20th anniversary commemorative edition I would say that Max Barry's Jennifer Government is like a bottle of Diet Neal Stephenson served with a twist of Christopher Moore or perhaps a dash of Tom Robbins? There is something uncannily similar between Snow Crash and Jennifer Government in the comic book pacing; in the hyperbolic and impossible but chillingly familiar geo political climate that he illustrates; in the characters that reek of auto erotic caricature and yet are so well drawn so believable and sympathetic and damn plausible You can see YT dropping out of school because of girls like Haley McDonald's You can see NRA franchises competing against La Cosa Nostra in the burbclaves You can imagine Hiro Protagonist sub contracted by Jennifer Government to fend off Violet ExxonMobil You wonder how the milieus of these novels aren't linkedBut even if you haven't read Snow Crash even if you aren't making those comparisons you will find this one wholly enjoyable It has an immediate start thrusts you headlong into the story already in progress but makes sure to catch you up just as uickly And it never loses this momentum The chapters coming at you fast each about 3 5 pages and are fairly dialogue driven Before you know it you'll find you've burned through 100 pages THIS IS NOT A BAD THING The narrative draws you in the prose gets out of the way and the characters encourage you to get investedBorderline 5 star review There is a whimsy to this tale that draws on a lot of familiar dystopian capitalist tropes eg the libertarian anarchy of free market capitalism run amok; it borders on cliche but doesn't uite cross the frontier into hackneyed territory That it gets that close that the prose taps its toes on cliche's fences is where we lose the fifth star in the rating But that the narrative goes there so unabashedly in all of its over the top banality that is a beautiful thing


  5. Stabitha Stabitha says:

    In a word Max Barry is overrated He has no ear for dialogue and his characters are completely flat and forgettable He has an annoying habit of making his female characters drop dead gorgeous and going on at length about just how gorgeous they are And exactly what they’re wearing That being said he’s got a good enough sense of pacing and enough satirical bite though it never breaks the skin to keep a person reading I mean there has to be some explanation for the fact that I read three of his books in two weeks I find myself irritated with his mediocre writing and tired observations yet unable to put his books down until they’re done Jennifer Government is set in a dystopian future in which the individual is so irrelevant that they take on the name of whatever corporation they work for There are some truly funny moments but the book just feels like unfulfilled potential I would say he's like the JJ Abrams of books you kinda like the ideas but the execution blows


  6. Eric Eric says:

    I gave this book 2 stars because I thought it was a good ride but honestly it's only good at all if you can get past the fact that all of the characters are completely one dimensional poorly thought out do things that are totally unrealistic and have little to no motivation to do anything but do things that are completely bizarre Seriously Hack the main character if there is one is like Tess of the D'Urbervilles He practically sleepwalks his way through the book and then when he grows a spine it's all pointless The big secret of Jennifer Government's eye tattoo wasn't anything worthwhile either There's so much pointlessness in this book and so much out of the blue action that it makes you wonder how this book got any good reviews at all If anyone in my book club actually reads this I'll be amazed and I'd be totally up for discussing how bad it is with anyone who asks


  7. Bradley Bradley says:

    Back a few years after the turn of the century the world was brand crazy More than that it was murderously brand crazy Remember the debacle around Nike? Murders in gangland over shoes? Or how about the whole stink surrounding the marketing departments who not only capitalized but doubled down on the policies that made this?YeahWell this novel truly capitalizes on THAT And Max Barry takes it all to its natural conclusion Governments are gutted corporations rule everything Do you want your loyalty rewards? How about unfettered capitalism without any restrictions whatsoever?Please have your credit card handy if you want ambulance service Barry is one of my go to guys now Screamingly fast writing razor sharp commentary and wonderful character driven adventures that often pull some great bait n switches Just who are we supposed to feel compassion for? Oh my that IS horrible But just WHO is Jennifer Government? She's merely one in a fairly large cast of characters who must be defined by their job I'd say the conceit is unrealistic but I recently had to change my name to Brad Writer Branding is everything you know


  8. Mike Mike says:

    There is so much I want to say about this book It is so jammed packed with interesting ideas and characters that there are a million places to start Perhaps I’ll just get the crude and vulgar out of the way firstThe world of Jennifer Government reads like an Ayn Rand wet dream Corporations have free reign in what is called the United States of America but actually comprises North and South America Australia New Zealand and the British isles or for you George Orwell fans out there Oceania The government makes Nozick’s Night watchman state look like Soviet Russia and even most basic services are provided by companies The teacher jotted something in his folder McDonald's sponsored schools were cheap like that at Pepsi schools everyone had notebook computers Also their uniforms were much better But all is not happy go lucky in this Capitalist Paradise Where the government does not have a monopoly on violence those that deal in violence are attracted to the highest bidder A corporate Cold War is on the verge of heating up and in this case the customer isn't always right The battle lines have been drawn Every Team Alliance company is in competition with every Team Advantage company Every customer who flies TA airline will buy a computer from Compa instead of IBM Boeing is with us because otherwise United Airlines won't buy from it With this as the backdrop we are introduce to a wide cast of characters whose threads eventually get entangled with each other and much bigger eventsJohn Nike because in this world you are your job or at least your last name is your company is what John Galt would be if Ayn Rand had a halfway decent editor He condenses Jon Galt’s infamous ninety page radio speech into two paragraphs that absolutely represent the spirit of the age Look I am not designing next year's ad campaign here I'm getting rid of the Government the greatest impediment to business in history You don't do that without a downside Yes some people will die But look at the gain Run a cost benefit analysis Maybe some of you have forgotten what companies really do So let me remind you they make as much money as possible If they don't investors go elsewhere It's that simple We're all cogs in wealth creation machines that's allI've given you a world without Government interference There is now no advertising campaign no intercompany deal no promotion no action you can't take You want to pay kids to get the swoosh tattooed on their foreheads? Who's going to stop you? You want to make computers that need repair after three months? Who's going to stop you? You want to reward consumers who complain about your competitors in the media? You want to pay them for recruiting their little brothers and sisters to your brand of cigarettes? You want the NRA to help you eliminate your competition? Then do it Just do it He is a ruthless amoral sanctimonious asshole and thrives in the world corporations have constructed It's my job to increase sales Is it my fault that killing kids to create buzz was the best way to do it? If Government had the muscle to enforce the law it wouldn't have made economic sense but they don't and it did this is the world we live in If you don't take advantage of the rules you're a suckerIf it doesn't have a dollar sign in front of it isn’t connected to a board of directors or doesn't wear a short skit he isn’t interested He is pure id in the empire of idJennifer Government the book’s namesake is a bit rougher around the edges hemmed in by Government limitations that prevent her from seeing justice done In order to pursue a murder investigation she has to convince the victims' families to pony up money for a budget The Government's budget only extends to preventing crime not punishing it For retributive investigation we can only proceed if we can obtain funding She fit nicely into the loose cannon cop trope while still delivering both a softer side with her daughter and a interesting backstory than most who populate the trope In a way Jennifer felt bad busting into such a nice place in full riot gear and scaring the crap out of everybody But in another accurate way she enjoyed it a lot The world itself is uite dystopian All the places in the USA are homogenized be they LA Australia or England The overwhelming cultural impulse is to do anything to get ahead to get yours and to hell with other people People have internalized this to the point where that commit immoral actions child abduction murder assassinations etc or suffer psychological breakdowns when they finally burn out It is a culture driven by consumerism and consumption at the cost of overseas workers the environment and our shared humanityThankfully things like this The cheap roads were clogged even at six thirty but he was only four blocks from a premium Bechtel freeway and that was eight lanes two dollars a mile and no speed limit Would never happen in AmericaWell at least this would never happen Prison housing prices have really jumped lately Some of these places you do fifteen years' labor and come out owing them for food and board Not in the good ole US of AWell at least emergency services will never devolve into this Sir I need to know if the victim is part of our register If she's one of our clients we'll be there within a few minutes Otherwise I'm happy to recommend I need an ambulance I'll pay for it I don't care just comeDo you have a credit card sir?Yes Send someone nowAs soon as I confirm your ability to pay sir This will only take a few seconds Yup no way that happens here in the land of the free and the home of the brave Goddamnit world this book was not supposed to be a how to guideAnyway doomsday prophesying aside this was a very fast read Chapters were just a few pages long and the action jumps among a wide cast of characters The writing is sharp see below for some of my favorite uotes and Barry does a great job bringing this Calitalizm nightmare to life I did think the ending was a bit lacking much like Lexicon but I greatly enjoyed this book in spite of this If you like economic dystopias or just think the setting sounds fun then by all means check this outAlso if you are feeling ambitious start and run your own nation at Nationstates a site affiliated with this bookNow without further ado funhorrifying uotes Companies were getting a lot tougher on labor contracts these days; Hack had heard stories At Adidas if you uit your job and your replacement wasn't as competent they sued you for lost profitsI want to commandeer your vehicle for Government business We pay three hundred dollars per hour of use plus any necessary repairs Also you have the satisfaction of knowing you've helped prevent crimes in your communityThree hundred up front?Companies claimed to be highly responsive but you only had to chase a screaming man through their offices to realize that wasn't trueThere was no place for irony in marketing it made people want to look for deeper meaning there was no place in marketing for that eitherThere are lots of other brilliant and funny lines as well you should read it and see them for yourself


  9. JAIME JAIME says:

    This was really fucking good Not uite five star read but I'm giving it 5 anyway BecauseReview might come If I ever do the other 5000 I've been promising


  10. aPriL does feral sometimes aPriL does feral sometimes says:

    'Jennifer Government' by Max Berry is pure rock 'n' roll satire turned up to ten In the fictional world of the novel American corporations run the world But if you think that means we have the peace of pushing around grocery carts and walking around stores looking for the best sales and visiting strip malls on the way home to pick up a hot dog think again Corporations have always been murderously competitive Think Jack in the Box vs McDonald's Think Nike vs Adidas Think of corporate marketing ideas such as the Nike President hiring the NRA to shoot up kids at a mall in order to increase the street cred of a new Nike shoe to increase sales After fourteen kids are shot dead sales increase 1000 percent Give that merchandising executive a raiseJennifer Government a government police agent works for the rump power that remains of the United States government Hack Nike works for Nike Buy Mitsui works for Mitsui Billy NRA works for the NRA The last name of people is always that of whom they work for If people don't have a job with a company they have no last name at all Taxes are illegal If the government does any work like fight a fire or investigate a crime they charge upfront before showing up Only the European Union still has governments in control of individual countries taxes and businesses American corporations are in charge of the rest of the world and they always get paid for their services or there is no serviceJohn Nike has a plan He wants to rid the world of what remains of the government He also wants to get rid of the competitor merchandising group called the Team Advantage an aligned co operative group of corporations Nike belongs to the US Alliance which competes with the corporations of Team Advantage The US Alliance is not aware of John Nike's assassination plot But as John knows all an executive needs to do is take charge assign people to tasks People are sheep John Nike is a psychopath He is confident of his schemes One of those schemes is killing the teens who line up to be first to buy the new line of Nike shoes He assigned the murder of the mall kids to an employee Hack NikeIt is surprising to most people how orders from an executive are often obeyed gentle reader no matter how insane the command as is demonstrated in the book and in the real world despite an employee's ualms or morals Promise of a raise and job promotion threat of a job loss that is all it ever takesJennifer Government knows John Nike very well She is not aware of his machinations regarding increasing the popularity of Nike's new 2500 shoes but she is aware of his cold ambitious nature She is busy tracking down the killer of the kids at the mall unaware of John Nike's involvement The trail leads her into a maze of corporate ambitions and business alliances all of whom have their own agendas and none know of the others' plots The book is absurdist satire Coincidences and close calls and near misses and misunderstandings ensnare all of the characters into grievious difficulties The plot reminds me a bit of what author El Leonard does in injecting fun into his novels but Barry goes in harder and deeper into the land of the absurb creating intensity into the politics of the story rather than invest much than what is necessary for characterization It's a romp through an alternate world well maybe an alternate world where capitalism rules


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10 thoughts on “Jennifer Government

  1. ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣ ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣ says:

    A marketopia populated by the rabid people surnamed after the companies they work for An inane world for profit Tongue in the cheek market worshipping leading to perception of capital and enterprise as the pinnacle of human achievement And don't forget your constitutional rights fraud included Add to that all the nice touches The gun of sentimental value The Nike hype The John guy assaulting a gal and all the way threatening to sue her for damages Wow Consider me a Max Barry convert“Hey don’t worry about it” Vice President John said “Career change can be very stressful I read that somewhere”cHack was a Merchandise Distribution Officer This meant when Nike made up a bunch of posters or caps or beach towels Hack had to send them to the right place Also if someone called up complaining about missing posters or caps or beach towels Hack had to take the call It wasn’t as exciting as it used to becThey were smiling at him as if he was an eual—but of course Hack was on the wrong floorcThen they stuck out their hands “I’m John Nike Guerrilla Marketing Operative New Products”“And I’m John Nike Guerrilla Marketing Vice President New Products” the other suit saidc“Hack we need someone who can make snap decisions A fast mover”“Someone who can get things done With a minimum of fucking around”“If that’s not your style well let’s forget we spoke No harm done You stick to Merchandising” Vice President John reached for the contract“I can sign it now” Hack said tightening his gripc“Yeah” Hack hoped he sounded confident He didn’t really understand marketingc“So you know what we’re going to do?”He shook his head“We’re going to shoot them” Vice President John said “We’re going to kill anyone who buys a pair”c“I remember when you could always rely on those little street kids to pop a few people for the latest Nikes” Vice President John said “Now people get mugged for Reeboks for Adidas—for generics for Christ’s sake”“The ghettos have no fashion sense any” the other John said “I swear they’ll wear anything”c“Um” Hack said He swallowed “Isn’t this kind ofillegal?”“He wants to know if it’s illegal” the other John said amused “You’re a funny guy Hack Yes it’s illegal killing people without their consent that’s very illegal”Vice President John said “But the uestion is what does it cost? Even if we get found out we burn a few million on legal fees we get fined a few million bottom line we’re still way out in front”cHack sat in traffic biting his nails This had not been a good day He was beginning to think that visiting the marketing floor for a cup of water was the worst mistake he’d ever madec“Well that’s cheaper We can make sure we don’t take out anyone with means For you know retribution And you need ten capped so there’s a bulk discount We could do this for say one fifty”cJeeps were one of the safest vehicles on the road Buy had read; safe for people in the Jeep anywaycUntil recently Buy had thought that moving to a USA country was the best move he’d ever made with the possible exception of changing his name from Jean Paulc“I know first aid” Not many people did; there was too much risk of being sued c“Nine eleven Emergency how can I help you?”“I need an ambulance uickly a girl has been shot at the Chadstone Wal Mart mall”“Certainly sir Can you tell me the girl’s name?”“Hayley Hayley something Please come straight away”“Sir I need to know if the victim is part of our register” the operator said “If she’s one of our clients we’ll be there within a few minutes Otherwise I’m happy to recommend—”“I need an ambulance” he shouted and it was only when water splashed on his hand that he realized he had started to cry “I’ll pay for it I don’t care just come”“Do you have a credit card sir?”“Yes Send someone now”“As soon as I confirm your ability to pay sir This will only take a few seconds”He looked at the faces around him “Someone help her Help her” The kid who had loaned Buy his cellular knelt down and held the jacket over the wound A girl began stroking Hayley’s hair Buy dragged his wallet out from his back pocket and retrieved his credit card Hayley’s eyes were fixed on him I promise he told her I promise “I have American Express—”“That’s fine sir Could you read your card number to me please?”“Nine seven one four oh three—”Two shots rang out from somewhere below them close The people around him shrieked and fled; only the kid stayed crouching lower“—six six—”People were screaming Something hit the ground—or one of the Mercedes?—with a deafening boom“Sir? Are you there? I didn’t catch the number sir” “Nine seven—”The kid put his hand over Buy’s “MisterI don’t think it matters”Hayley was no longer looking at him Her eyes were turned upward at the Nike Town sign at the fluorescent lights Her face was white“Oh no” Buy said “No please”“Sir?” the operator said “Can you please repeat your credit card number for me sir? Sir? Are you there? Sir? Sir?”cHack what you just saw was a press release We have no intention of hunting down the people responsible because the people responsible are us All right?c“You want to know why Americans took over the world Hack? Because they respect achievement Before this was a USA country our ideal was the working class battler for Christ’s sake If Australians ruled the world everyone would work one day a week and bitch about the pay” He shook his head “Then there’s the British who thought there was something wrong with making money No surprise they ended up kissing the colony’s ass The Japanese they think the pinnacle of achievement is a Government job The Chinese are Communist the Germans are Socialists the Russians are brokewho does that leave?”“Canada?”“America” John said “The United fucking States of America the country founded on free market capitalizm I tell you those Founding Fathers knew their shit”c“You mean the one time you did something nice for no reason the person died?”cHe reddened “Well we still need that information It may not seem important to you but this is a serious suit”She couldn’t help it she looked at his suitcIn order to pursue the perpetrators we need funding yes The Government’s budget only extends to preventing crime not punishing it For a retributive investigation we can only proceed if we can obtain fundingcHack said “See there’s this body in my kitchen—”“You’re meant to call first” the agent said “To set up an appointment We can’t drop everything just because you walk in”cHe smiled Trespass was an assault against property and therefore a crime but fraud was fine fraud was practically a constitutional right like free speechc

  2. ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) says:

    Jennifer Government maths➽ This is one of my favourite books EVER and I don't give a fishing damn if① Some people say it's overhyped and overrated② Some people say it's predictable③ Some people say it's pure badly written crap④ Some people say all the characters in the story are stupid flat and unlikeable➽ And I certainly don't give a fishing damn about the book snobs who compare this book to the supposed greatness of novels written by Huxley Orwell Stephenson and the like The reverse book snob in me happens to think all these authors are greatly overrrrrrrated I'd rather reread The Duke and I than have to go through Snow Crash or Brave New World again But hey I'm clueless enough to think Jennifer Government is one of the coolest books ever so what the shrimp do I know?➽ And the moral of this crappy non review is love this book hate this book judge this book I don't give a fishing damn It is and forever will be pure delicious awesomeness to me HaPre review nonsense· uestion Is this still one of the coolest books I've ever read?· Answer➽ Crappy non review to come In 2025 Or whenever I don't find the time to write it

  3. Mario the lone bookwolf Mario the lone bookwolf says:

    A satire about neoliberalism leads to its ultimate goal that shows the immense flaws and unlogic of this fairy tale Imagine the opposite of a state dictatorship like communism or state communism with state owned companies and directed market economy Instead companies own everything and the state belongs to them One may ask where there is a difference to our actual situation Well in this case it is official and no farce is held all few years and called a democratic election In this gritty sick world and setting many tropes and ideas to caricature privatization and globalization can be set in place Instead of hitting on Milton Friedman Friedrich von Hayek and their successors one should spread novels like that cause laughing about something has two great effects Once it doesn´t make one angry or sad and secondly it´s the only appropriate reaction to this whole mambo jumbo yada yada economic system Readers who liked the idea might like Richard Morgans' novel Market Forces which deals with a similar scenery And leftist non fiction in general

  4. Rob Rob says:

    If asked to write the foreword to some 20th anniversary commemorative edition I would say that Max Barry's Jennifer Government is like a bottle of Diet Neal Stephenson served with a twist of Christopher Moore or perhaps a dash of Tom Robbins? There is something uncannily similar between Snow Crash and Jennifer Government in the comic book pacing; in the hyperbolic and impossible but chillingly familiar geo political climate that he illustrates; in the characters that reek of auto erotic caricature and yet are so well drawn so believable and sympathetic and damn plausible You can see YT dropping out of school because of girls like Haley McDonald's You can see NRA franchises competing against La Cosa Nostra in the burbclaves You can imagine Hiro Protagonist sub contracted by Jennifer Government to fend off Violet ExxonMobil You wonder how the milieus of these novels aren't linkedBut even if you haven't read Snow Crash even if you aren't making those comparisons you will find this one wholly enjoyable It has an immediate start thrusts you headlong into the story already in progress but makes sure to catch you up just as uickly And it never loses this momentum The chapters coming at you fast each about 3 5 pages and are fairly dialogue driven Before you know it you'll find you've burned through 100 pages THIS IS NOT A BAD THING The narrative draws you in the prose gets out of the way and the characters encourage you to get investedBorderline 5 star review There is a whimsy to this tale that draws on a lot of familiar dystopian capitalist tropes eg the libertarian anarchy of free market capitalism run amok; it borders on cliche but doesn't uite cross the frontier into hackneyed territory That it gets that close that the prose taps its toes on cliche's fences is where we lose the fifth star in the rating But that the narrative goes there so unabashedly in all of its over the top banality that is a beautiful thing

  5. Stabitha Stabitha says:

    In a word Max Barry is overrated He has no ear for dialogue and his characters are completely flat and forgettable He has an annoying habit of making his female characters drop dead gorgeous and going on at length about just how gorgeous they are And exactly what they’re wearing That being said he’s got a good enough sense of pacing and enough satirical bite though it never breaks the skin to keep a person reading I mean there has to be some explanation for the fact that I read three of his books in two weeks I find myself irritated with his mediocre writing and tired observations yet unable to put his books down until they’re done Jennifer Government is set in a dystopian future in which the individual is so irrelevant that they take on the name of whatever corporation they work for There are some truly funny moments but the book just feels like unfulfilled potential I would say he's like the JJ Abrams of books you kinda like the ideas but the execution blows

  6. Eric Eric says:

    I gave this book 2 stars because I thought it was a good ride but honestly it's only good at all if you can get past the fact that all of the characters are completely one dimensional poorly thought out do things that are totally unrealistic and have little to no motivation to do anything but do things that are completely bizarre Seriously Hack the main character if there is one is like Tess of the D'Urbervilles He practically sleepwalks his way through the book and then when he grows a spine it's all pointless The big secret of Jennifer Government's eye tattoo wasn't anything worthwhile either There's so much pointlessness in this book and so much out of the blue action that it makes you wonder how this book got any good reviews at all If anyone in my book club actually reads this I'll be amazed and I'd be totally up for discussing how bad it is with anyone who asks

  7. Bradley Bradley says:

    Back a few years after the turn of the century the world was brand crazy More than that it was murderously brand crazy Remember the debacle around Nike? Murders in gangland over shoes? Or how about the whole stink surrounding the marketing departments who not only capitalized but doubled down on the policies that made this?YeahWell this novel truly capitalizes on THAT And Max Barry takes it all to its natural conclusion Governments are gutted corporations rule everything Do you want your loyalty rewards? How about unfettered capitalism without any restrictions whatsoever?Please have your credit card handy if you want ambulance service Barry is one of my go to guys now Screamingly fast writing razor sharp commentary and wonderful character driven adventures that often pull some great bait n switches Just who are we supposed to feel compassion for? Oh my that IS horrible But just WHO is Jennifer Government? She's merely one in a fairly large cast of characters who must be defined by their job I'd say the conceit is unrealistic but I recently had to change my name to Brad Writer Branding is everything you know

  8. Mike Mike says:

    There is so much I want to say about this book It is so jammed packed with interesting ideas and characters that there are a million places to start Perhaps I’ll just get the crude and vulgar out of the way firstThe world of Jennifer Government reads like an Ayn Rand wet dream Corporations have free reign in what is called the United States of America but actually comprises North and South America Australia New Zealand and the British isles or for you George Orwell fans out there Oceania The government makes Nozick’s Night watchman state look like Soviet Russia and even most basic services are provided by companies The teacher jotted something in his folder McDonald's sponsored schools were cheap like that at Pepsi schools everyone had notebook computers Also their uniforms were much better But all is not happy go lucky in this Capitalist Paradise Where the government does not have a monopoly on violence those that deal in violence are attracted to the highest bidder A corporate Cold War is on the verge of heating up and in this case the customer isn't always right The battle lines have been drawn Every Team Alliance company is in competition with every Team Advantage company Every customer who flies TA airline will buy a computer from Compa instead of IBM Boeing is with us because otherwise United Airlines won't buy from it With this as the backdrop we are introduce to a wide cast of characters whose threads eventually get entangled with each other and much bigger eventsJohn Nike because in this world you are your job or at least your last name is your company is what John Galt would be if Ayn Rand had a halfway decent editor He condenses Jon Galt’s infamous ninety page radio speech into two paragraphs that absolutely represent the spirit of the age Look I am not designing next year's ad campaign here I'm getting rid of the Government the greatest impediment to business in history You don't do that without a downside Yes some people will die But look at the gain Run a cost benefit analysis Maybe some of you have forgotten what companies really do So let me remind you they make as much money as possible If they don't investors go elsewhere It's that simple We're all cogs in wealth creation machines that's allI've given you a world without Government interference There is now no advertising campaign no intercompany deal no promotion no action you can't take You want to pay kids to get the swoosh tattooed on their foreheads? Who's going to stop you? You want to make computers that need repair after three months? Who's going to stop you? You want to reward consumers who complain about your competitors in the media? You want to pay them for recruiting their little brothers and sisters to your brand of cigarettes? You want the NRA to help you eliminate your competition? Then do it Just do it He is a ruthless amoral sanctimonious asshole and thrives in the world corporations have constructed It's my job to increase sales Is it my fault that killing kids to create buzz was the best way to do it? If Government had the muscle to enforce the law it wouldn't have made economic sense but they don't and it did this is the world we live in If you don't take advantage of the rules you're a suckerIf it doesn't have a dollar sign in front of it isn’t connected to a board of directors or doesn't wear a short skit he isn’t interested He is pure id in the empire of idJennifer Government the book’s namesake is a bit rougher around the edges hemmed in by Government limitations that prevent her from seeing justice done In order to pursue a murder investigation she has to convince the victims' families to pony up money for a budget The Government's budget only extends to preventing crime not punishing it For retributive investigation we can only proceed if we can obtain funding She fit nicely into the loose cannon cop trope while still delivering both a softer side with her daughter and a interesting backstory than most who populate the trope In a way Jennifer felt bad busting into such a nice place in full riot gear and scaring the crap out of everybody But in another accurate way she enjoyed it a lot The world itself is uite dystopian All the places in the USA are homogenized be they LA Australia or England The overwhelming cultural impulse is to do anything to get ahead to get yours and to hell with other people People have internalized this to the point where that commit immoral actions child abduction murder assassinations etc or suffer psychological breakdowns when they finally burn out It is a culture driven by consumerism and consumption at the cost of overseas workers the environment and our shared humanityThankfully things like this The cheap roads were clogged even at six thirty but he was only four blocks from a premium Bechtel freeway and that was eight lanes two dollars a mile and no speed limit Would never happen in AmericaWell at least this would never happen Prison housing prices have really jumped lately Some of these places you do fifteen years' labor and come out owing them for food and board Not in the good ole US of AWell at least emergency services will never devolve into this Sir I need to know if the victim is part of our register If she's one of our clients we'll be there within a few minutes Otherwise I'm happy to recommend I need an ambulance I'll pay for it I don't care just comeDo you have a credit card sir?Yes Send someone nowAs soon as I confirm your ability to pay sir This will only take a few seconds Yup no way that happens here in the land of the free and the home of the brave Goddamnit world this book was not supposed to be a how to guideAnyway doomsday prophesying aside this was a very fast read Chapters were just a few pages long and the action jumps among a wide cast of characters The writing is sharp see below for some of my favorite uotes and Barry does a great job bringing this Calitalizm nightmare to life I did think the ending was a bit lacking much like Lexicon but I greatly enjoyed this book in spite of this If you like economic dystopias or just think the setting sounds fun then by all means check this outAlso if you are feeling ambitious start and run your own nation at Nationstates a site affiliated with this bookNow without further ado funhorrifying uotes Companies were getting a lot tougher on labor contracts these days; Hack had heard stories At Adidas if you uit your job and your replacement wasn't as competent they sued you for lost profitsI want to commandeer your vehicle for Government business We pay three hundred dollars per hour of use plus any necessary repairs Also you have the satisfaction of knowing you've helped prevent crimes in your communityThree hundred up front?Companies claimed to be highly responsive but you only had to chase a screaming man through their offices to realize that wasn't trueThere was no place for irony in marketing it made people want to look for deeper meaning there was no place in marketing for that eitherThere are lots of other brilliant and funny lines as well you should read it and see them for yourself

  9. JAIME JAIME says:

    This was really fucking good Not uite five star read but I'm giving it 5 anyway BecauseReview might come If I ever do the other 5000 I've been promising

  10. aPriL does feral sometimes aPriL does feral sometimes says:

    'Jennifer Government' by Max Berry is pure rock 'n' roll satire turned up to ten In the fictional world of the novel American corporations run the world But if you think that means we have the peace of pushing around grocery carts and walking around stores looking for the best sales and visiting strip malls on the way home to pick up a hot dog think again Corporations have always been murderously competitive Think Jack in the Box vs McDonald's Think Nike vs Adidas Think of corporate marketing ideas such as the Nike President hiring the NRA to shoot up kids at a mall in order to increase the street cred of a new Nike shoe to increase sales After fourteen kids are shot dead sales increase 1000 percent Give that merchandising executive a raiseJennifer Government a government police agent works for the rump power that remains of the United States government Hack Nike works for Nike Buy Mitsui works for Mitsui Billy NRA works for the NRA The last name of people is always that of whom they work for If people don't have a job with a company they have no last name at all Taxes are illegal If the government does any work like fight a fire or investigate a crime they charge upfront before showing up Only the European Union still has governments in control of individual countries taxes and businesses American corporations are in charge of the rest of the world and they always get paid for their services or there is no serviceJohn Nike has a plan He wants to rid the world of what remains of the government He also wants to get rid of the competitor merchandising group called the Team Advantage an aligned co operative group of corporations Nike belongs to the US Alliance which competes with the corporations of Team Advantage The US Alliance is not aware of John Nike's assassination plot But as John knows all an executive needs to do is take charge assign people to tasks People are sheep John Nike is a psychopath He is confident of his schemes One of those schemes is killing the teens who line up to be first to buy the new line of Nike shoes He assigned the murder of the mall kids to an employee Hack NikeIt is surprising to most people how orders from an executive are often obeyed gentle reader no matter how insane the command as is demonstrated in the book and in the real world despite an employee's ualms or morals Promise of a raise and job promotion threat of a job loss that is all it ever takesJennifer Government knows John Nike very well She is not aware of his machinations regarding increasing the popularity of Nike's new 2500 shoes but she is aware of his cold ambitious nature She is busy tracking down the killer of the kids at the mall unaware of John Nike's involvement The trail leads her into a maze of corporate ambitions and business alliances all of whom have their own agendas and none know of the others' plots The book is absurdist satire Coincidences and close calls and near misses and misunderstandings ensnare all of the characters into grievious difficulties The plot reminds me a bit of what author El Leonard does in injecting fun into his novels but Barry goes in harder and deeper into the land of the absurb creating intensity into the politics of the story rather than invest much than what is necessary for characterization It's a romp through an alternate world well maybe an alternate world where capitalism rules

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